LESSONS FROM EZILI
What follows is the first real writing about any of my spiritual experiences in some time.
There may be errors. There are some omissions. The story meanders. There are many interlocking parts to it. But it is my truth. I love you Mama Ezili.
Erzulie Dantor is of the Haitian Petro family. Ezili needed to reach her people suffering in slavery, and became Ezili Dantur. Ezili Dantur can relate to that suffering, is here to protect and fight for her people who are still suffering from it.
my Lyran soul worked with those loa on that..."project". SkMt was in Africa, in Egypt when humans were engineered. She did not work directly on humans, her gift was cats :3 But she witnessed that creation and provided her input. She felt their pure beautiful souls, she loved them as if they were her children. and she continues to embrace them, as her children, in their continued suffering. The Lwa are...her children too.
…The Lwa have come to me to return the favor as a gift to my traumatized human soul. Last night I found myself in a place of pain and sorrow and processing. Really missing my mom. between estrangement and COVID...All I want to do is hug her so she knows how much I love her in waking life, and i can't do that. I struggle with this pain because it's so important for me to understand the human condition but it HURTS. IT'S SUPPOSED TO HURT. I AM SUPPOSED TO FEEL THIS. MY MISSION IS TO UNDERSTAND. as I cried, The Lwa rushed in and surrounded me, literally just surrounded me with hugs hugs hugs and love and comfort and kisses. Ezili F was there. She held me in her arms, rocked me like a child, and comforted me. she gave mother love to this divine child, who struggles so hard with feeling motherless.
Much like the song by Odetta: "Sometimes I feel like a motherless Child." Here she is singing it, before her passing in 2008. she sings my pain.
And I *have* struggled with Mothers. My separation from my family was planned, spiritually but my soul craves familial connection and belonging. My mom here comes to me with her love in dreams and with energy and always has, though she is not conscious of it in waking life...and it breaks my heart. I have been in the state of extreme social isolation since 2015. there has been no one to give me that level of love and comfort, on the physical plane... The celestials and devas [autocorrect: Davis***] have stepped in as i am in need. Myself, I "...struggle to feel love from others & to receive it due to the intensity of the prior 40 years. which is also an important part of this mission. we are now correcting the changes in both the physical & spirutual DNA in our people, from centuries of oppression. We thank you for this...for MY understanding. -E. Dantur, to SkMt"
I asked about Dantur (meg/darwin soul) I was told: "that aspect is the darkness which you are very familiar with after your time in your dark night. But during this time, and during your reconciliation, You showed Dantur love. You showed her compassion. You showed her that you not only understand her pain and suffering, you have compassion for it. You see how it led to her fierceness. That was the Dantur lesson. You completed it.
That's the lesson we, the Lwa, also work on with this mission: to empathize and to validate with that pain and suffering. I choose to focus on my peoples, my African peoples. Our descendents who have been displaced, sold into slavery, brutalized and murdered. Who have forgotten who they are. It is those peoples we, the LWA, are here to serve and protect.
You were able to see Dantur as a mother, through all her fierceness and scariness. through her pain, sorrow, and despair. Her fight for retribution. You recognized her as a Mother, in pain for her children. Your offered us your forgiveness. And so now I come to you as Frida. how could I not, child?"
You embody this as Sekhmet. You have embraced this lesson also with Kali, with the Sidhe, with Lilith. You understand my love for Gu. You embodied that love with Terence.... who understands more than you know.
You were never being punished.
This was simply school.
(i love you)
We DO ❤️"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Background:
in 2006, my then boyfriend (M) broke up w/ me to run off with my new best friend (B). She had feigned being my friend to get closer to him...she chose to call me her “best friend”. We had a powerful energetic connection though, and it crushed me. She was absolutely unwilling to understand why her actions were harmful and of course, so was he. there were so many excuses.
I was pissed and I was hurt and I was mad. And I cursed her. It was the very first time I had ever done a curse on anyone, and it has also been the very last time. I called on Ezili Dantur for this work.
the song above i learned and sang for her, to call on her for this working. She answered.
I am a witch, and a druid. that is my Irish Celtic ancestry...It was a powerful spell. I could not find a picture of B, So I used a picture of her dog she had given me as a stand-in. her dog died within a week after I did that.
I was immediately remorseful. immediately. I felt awful and terrible for what I did to Ravioli (which i now understand differently....)And then I pushed all of that down until 2011.
In December of that year I got an email from B. What I did forced them into a state of contemplation...
her email stated an actual apology, for the first time. acknowledging that she chose to ignore how this affected me because she was so into getting what she wanted. And in the years following, she has had to deal with the fallout from that decision.
It was a many year process of healing for her. She is an incredible artist, and did an entire series of paintings which all involved teardrops...while she was working on it. initially I wrote back with a snarky reply about how I was not about to be part of her healing process and she was on her own with it. because I was mad!! in 2006 both of them agreed to come to a therapy session with me funny enough, But at that time they were in this place of "oh we feel "love" so what we're doing must be perfectly fine and sorry it sucks for you but...."
A year later, they decided to get married. where did they have their wedding? at the very place my ex and I used to have Valentine's dinners every year. a Mediterranean restaurant / hookah bar that was absolutely gorgeous and I adored.
yeah you bet I was pissed. for fucking years. The AUDACITY and irony of her writing an email to me, after all these years. After me REALLY TRYING to engage with then through a restorative justice process with them in 2006 and 2007 to heal this. And they refuse to do it then...So she apologized because that was what SHE needed for HER healing, And I was pissed.
like bitch, you didn't give me that consideration in The prior five years. Why should I even bother giving you that now?
that was the essence of what I initially replied.
But this was December 2011, and I was being primed for the Transition of the Ages. I had just come across "spirit science" on YouTube. at his rec I started reading The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life (Drunvalo Melchizedek), which obviously clicked with me. My first downloads...
after I sent that reply, I felt something shift. This is when I first understood how important forgiveness is on my mission. So I emailed back. I said you know what, that was harsh. And there has been so many high emotions for so many years. So let's talk and let's reconcile.
And we did. We emailed back and forth and began the process of closure. during that time I also knew I needed to take Drunvalo's Awakening the illuminated heart workshop. I just knew. So I looked up where I could take it... there was nothing anywhere near me. I was going to have to fly somewhere else to do this. then I saw the picture of Phoenix and Leon. So smiley and happy and just heart front and center... And I knew it was them that I needed to take this course from.
what's funny... when I signed up for the course, there was an issue with the dates. The actual workshop was one date but there was a different date on their website. once I realized, I emailed them because I'd already bought my plane tickets.
I was just blown away by the response: Just show up! Don't worry about trying to mess with plane tickets. we'll be happy to give you that training on your own when you're here. once I got there, And I still laugh about this now... Phoenix said to me wow you're an amazing manifester! look at you manifesting your own class!
Phoenix and Leon are my soul family. they agreed to be my teachers in this lifetime when I was ready. they're my spiritual parents and I love them as much as I love my physical Earth parents.
So, I flew to Arizona for that workshop, which was in Sedona. My exes were living in Scottsdale at the time. In our emails, B & I made plans. I flew into Phoenix, then rented a car and drove to Sedona. I had some time in the morning before my flight left, So I was going to show up early and we would have breakfast and tea.
And we did just that. And I made peace with them.
This was the very first time I had felt universal unconditional love...I was glowing. I was in touch with my angelic self and I could feel that form, larger than my physical body. I have shared my aura photos from the beginning, the middle, and the end of that workshop. I will forever be grateful for it.
We made peace. We hugged and kissed and said how much we missed each other. And what I realized was that... I was so mad because I loved them so much. BECAUSE I LOVED THEM SO MUCH.
eventually they moved to CO, where they now have a house and a child. in October 2014, I flew to Denver for another Phoenix & Leon workshop (angels). I'd emailed her about meeting up while I was there... And we did.
It was different though. I was on a different level... But I did get to witness some of their healing process. I have always been polyamorous. M. and I were in a poly relationship. But when B came in, she saw M and wanted that all for herself.
she refused to reconcile with my feelings for her or her feelings for me due to internalized homophobia (autocorrect: **haunted homophobia So likely ancestors and family who have issues with gay people ugh)
We went to a park when I was there and smoked some weed. And they probably did not realize I heard them, But I heard them talking about me at one point. And what were they talking about? apparently the two of them had been in discussion about poly. and me. they'd finally reached that place of "hmm
..duh, maybe it could be all three of us?" 🙄
But for me, that time had been, had passed and they missed that window of opportunity*****. We have periodically emailed from time to time but it has been many years now since then. they have since had a child, and for the remainder of this life, they will be reflecting on The Big Lie of love****: That we have There is Only One person we are supposed to be with, And once we find that person we must hold on to them for dear life in order to achieve the "happily ever after." they are and have been contemplating on The dogma of love, marriage and family in waking life it may not structure. I feel that their higher selves now understand this missed opportunity for the lesson it is. in waking life it's a bit fuzzier, But they are very aware of What Could Have Been, and do acknowledge it as a missed opportunity.
*** It's Mac Davis. Singer and songwriter, he wrote "in the ghetto" for Elvis, with the Hathors. I have a LOT of musicians coming through to talk to me these days, ever since I started working with the Hathors. most of them have passed on, many within the last few years.
Edwin Hawkins came through the other morning (Oh Happy Day! is his well-known gospel song). And Odetta. Mac came through while I was typing this, to help me understand my role in this mission as a white person. (we're still working on it)
Belita Woods was involved in last summer’s workings, which revolved heavily around her group Brainstorm’s disco hit “Lovin’ Is Really My Game” - probably my favorite song ever. I felt her spirit come down and just EMBRACE me.
(David Bowie is also a Hathor person, and Prince!)
here's Mac's preferred pic. love the hat and the 😁
It's really hard, honestly. It's so important to center black people in this. CRUCIAL. Yes I am Sekhmet but I *am* a white person in this life, and so many black people struggle with trauma from myself and ny ancestors. the message is hard to receive when i am in this body and I refuse to force it. I firmly believe one of their own will step up. Many already have. in the meantime these statements will be publicly hidden, as it were, in a blog post on my website.
Their heritage is SO IMPORTANT TO THEM. appropriation is real and is a problem, and I do not want to do that. This is not for me.
****Now there is *some* truth in regard to twin flames with that, But honestly humans, yes you may have a twin flame, but many of you have reconciled and are one now. No, you will not always find your twin flame and live happily ever after, because it is not always your mission in your human lives. and it is not a happily ever after situation. interest in twin flames happens because you are at a different point in your spiritual development: reconciling your duality halves into one spiritual whole. It is an important step early in the process. But if you're not ready for that, y'all will fight like cats and dogs! Just saying! —SkMt
*****(basically, my work shot me up higher, out of alignment with where they were. in those moments I was a teacher for them. the passive teacher, The teacher in the darkness. that is who I am.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
...I will never be standing in front of the class at the blackboard telling you what's what. I'm the shop teacher. You're going to pick up those tools and you're going to dive in, because that is how you need to learn this. let me know if you need help.
💗meggus